Fairfarren, Alice
by Kioasakka
Summary: The Hat was a reminder of Alice. He wanted nothing to do with it. He sank to the floor and choked back a sob as he began to rock, murmuring aloud over and over again the words that could have made her stay. AlicexHatter


"Off with your head."

The Vorpal Sword sliced through the air, cutting clean through the neck of the foul creature. Its body fell backwards as the head bounded down the stairs, stopping at last at the bottom. The Sword's bearer came slowly after it, her tangled mass of yellow hair fluttering behind her.

The Knave of Hearts was pinned to the ground, at his throat a different, insignificant blade, but a blade nevertheless. _Its _bearer, whose wild hair was orange as a campfire, glanced up at the silent head of the Jabberwocky, then up momentarily at the Champion who had slain it. Suddenly, his anger receded; his eyes faded from a manic rust-orange to their normal yellow-green. Blinking, he looked at the weapon in his hand with confusion, and dropped it as if it were infested with germs.

He made his way through the crowd to retrieve the Hat he had removed. He placed it atop his head, then watched as the crown floated from the Red Queen's head to that of her sister, Mirana, the White Queen.

When all was said and done, and the White Queen was filling a vial with the blood of the Jabberwocky, the orange-haired man's gaze fell upon the beautiful Champion, whose back was to him. He couldn't help but smile. He was terribly proud of her.

_Tell her, _a voice in his head commanded._ Tell her now._ He agreed, and meant to do just that, until her words stopped him cold.

"Will this take me home?" she asked Mirana of the blood.

Home. She was planning on returning home. Which meant… she planned to leave him again.

_Tell her!_ the voice insisted, fearful now._ Make her stay!_

She was staring at the vial of the Jabberwocky blood, bringing it uncertainly to her lips. He came slowly up behind her, gazing mournfully at the back of her ratty yellow hair. Hesitantly, he told her, "You could stay."

She turned to face and smile at him. Good heavens, that smile… it smote his heart to cinders. "What an idea," she said with a laugh. "A crazy, mad, wonderful idea."

He smiled in relief. She would stay. She wouldn't leave him again.

His smile vanished when she said, "But I can't."

He barely heard whatever she said next. She was leaving. That was all he knew. His eyes followed the vial as she drunk all of it. He had never felt such sadness.

_TELL HER! Tell her you love her! Quickly, before it's too late!_

"Be back again before you know it," she told him lightheartedly, in an attempt to cheer him.

He shook his head sorrowfully. "You won't remember me," he whispered.

"Of course I will," she said, as if the idea were preposterous. "How could I forget?"

_You forgot last time. _The words hung empty in the air. He wondered later if he should have said them. He looked painfully into her eyes and down at her lips, and back into those blue eyes.

"Hatter," she asked quietly, "why_ is _a raven like a writing desk?"

He managed a sad smile as he fought back tears. "I haven't the slightest idea." His gaze lingered again on her lips, and with a deep breath, he leaned toward her, with every intention of kissing her and professing his love. At the last moment, however, he moved instead to her ear, and whispered only, "_Fairfarren,_ Alice."

He pulled back and looked for the last time at her confused and beautiful face. It were as if he had caught her by surprise, or disappointed her. He smiled one final smile at her as he watched his beloved Alice fade away before his eyes. When she was gone, so was the smile on his face, and all the emotion inside of him. He fell weakly to his knees, and there sat, letting his pain fade away into numbness, rather than show it to everyone. His head drooped, and his Hat slid off and fell to the ground.

He didn't see any of his friends approach, nor did he hear their concerned voices assure him that everything would be all right and that she would come back. He did notice, however, when someone picked up his Hat and tried to put it back on his head; he struck the hand holding the Hat and knocked it away.

"Tarrant…" Mirana reached again for the Hat, and sat on her knees, holding it out to him. "Tarrant, please… your Hat."

His voice, so devoid of emotion, sounded foreign to him. "Keep it."

She looked worriedly at him. "I will not," she informed him. "This is your Hat, not mine. Take it."

His eyes drifted up to the Hat that had always been so important to him. Somehow, it was of no importance anymore. He looked away. "I don't want it," he told her.

The voice of a certain cat rang beside him. "Tarrant—"

_"No!"_ He stood suddenly, glaring at them with rusty orange eyes. "The Hat means nothing to me," he told them, his accent thick and angry. "Burn it, fer all I care."

Nobody spoke. His eyes fell again on the Hat, and he was struck once more with pain. The Hat was a reminder of Alice. He wanted nothing to do with it.

His eyes faded back to green, and his knees gave out again. This time he was caught, and he stood only by leaning on Mirana.

"Dearest Tarrant," she murmured gently, "would you prefer to be at home in Witzend, or return to Marmoreal? Which would suit you best?"

He didn't care where he went, because wherever it was, she would not be there. But he answered that he wanted to go home, knowing that was exactly the place Mirana least wanted him. But she, of course, respected his wishes, and reluctantly did so again when he insisted on walking. She did not allow him to return alone, however, and so he was accompanied by Mally, Chessur, and the Tweedles, as well as—strangely—the Bandersnatch. The white bear-dog creature looked lost and lonely as well.

He did not take his Hat with him. The White Queen took it with her when he left it and made sure to put it someplace safe for the day he would want it back. But as far as he was concerned, he would never want it back.

When at last he saw his untouched tea-table, passed it by and shut the door of his windmill house behind him, he finally allowed the pain to creep back. _Why didn't I tell her? Why didn't I tell her? _He sank to the floor and choked back a sob as he began to rock, murmuring aloud over and over again the words that could have made her stay:

_"I love you, Alice. I love you. You can't go, because I love you. Don't leave me again. I love you, I love you…"_


End file.
